Category: Parents and Kids
Effective parenting technique is a puzzling topic that sometimes burnt out experts, and became a topic of brewing debates. However, developmental psychologists only began to study parenting and its influences on children in the 1920’s. Most experts studying the most effective parenting technique rely on the concept of Diana Baumrind’s three parenting styles, in which was found the authoritative parenting style to be the most balanced and healthiest.
Parenting can be seen as broad and limitless, when taking into consideration the differences in family values within the context of the norm, religious concepts, and many other ideals that shape the way parents deal with their children. Yet, failure in parenting cannot be solely blamed on specific instances but is seen as a typology of general practices of parents.
So what is the effective parenting technique? As broad as it might sound, authoritative parenting combines parental responsiveness and parental demandingness vis–vis the age of a child. Parental responsiveness describes a parent’s intent to foster self-regulation, individuality, and self-assertion by being supportive of and adjusting to a child’s needs and desires. Parental demandingness relates more to controlling a child’s behavior that is seen as inappropriate, and a parent’s willingness to enforce gentle disciplinary efforts, and confronting a child who intentionally disobeys or has committed a mistake.
You can do age-specific activities or discipline in order to set limitations but not to a point of taking full control over your child’s life. Parents, themselves, need to acknowledge differences in personality styles, ideas, and life perspectives especially when a child has grown into an adolescent.
Other experts, meanwhile, advocate attachment parenting as the effective parenting technique to use on infants. Dr. William Sears and his wife, Martha, were the first to describe attachment parenting as a style that highly demands responsiveness from parents. This style of parenting negates the popular belief of not responding to a baby’s cry immediately so as not to spoil him/her. Attachment parenting advocates believe that crying is a baby’s instinctive and survival tool, which is their only means of communication to the world.
Both authoritative and attachment parenting are found to be the most effective parenting styles today, with studies showing positive results from children raised with these styles of parenting. Attachment parenting, in particular, advocates emotional closeness between parents and child to promote self-esteem and social competency later in life. Looking closely, these two styles of effective parenting techniques have similarities in terms of responding to children’s needs and correcting ill behaviors in order to raise intellectually, emotionally, and socially-competitive individuals.
A parenting plan is a document that divorced and separated parents make to ensure that their children will be cared for when the parents are no longer together. The plan contains all of the information that the parents need for providing for and caring for he children. A big part of the plan is the schedule that shows when the child is with each parent. This schedule is called the custody schedule, and it is one of the most important parts of the plan. To help parents make this vital section, here is a template to follow to make the custody schedule.
The first part of the template requires that the parents decide who the child will live with. Parents can choose to have the child live primarily with one parent, or the parents can both have times when the child lives with them. This decision should be based on what is best for the child. Where the child lives determines how the custody schedule will be set up.
After the residence of the child is determined, the parents can make a repeating cycle of custody and visitation. Basically, the mother and father should make a schedule for a few weeks that outlines when the child will be with each parent. Then, the parents take this short schedule and repeat it throughout the year. This is the foundation for the custody schedule.
The next part of the template is the holiday schedule. The holiday schedule overrides the normal custody schedule and shows where the child will be on those special days. The mother and father can choose to include whatever holidays they want, and they can divide holiday time in whatever way works best for their situation. Some parents like to split the day of the holiday in half, while other parents like to alternate holidays. Again, this schedule should be made with the child’s benefit in mind.
Lastly, the parents should add vacation time and special events into the schedule. Parents can mark in time when the mother and father can take the child on vacation. The mother and father can also mark in special times when the normal custody schedule has to change.
By following this template, a mother and father can make a good custody schedule for their parenting plan. If parents take the time to make a good schedule from the start, it can save a lot of hassle later on. A good schedule can also help the child adjust to the new circumstances.
Do you find yourself always worrying that your kids might accidentally scratch your finest furniture? Or maybe you’re already hoarse from repeatedly telling them off not to play on that expensive couch? Well, you are certainly not alone since a lot of parents are having the same dilemma. Still, we have to admit that there’s certainly no room for delicate and pricey furniture if there are kids around the house. Otherwise, you can expect your furnishings to be in a deplorable state in no time at all.
However, just when you thought you’ll be forever doomed to have dreadful looking furniture, you’ll soon find out that there’s some ray of hope for you yet. The solution? Buy some really great bean bag chairs for kids! They will certainly squeal with delight from the mere sight of a specially designed colorful bean bag chairs for kids that they can freely trash, pummel or beat. It is specifically designed to withstand even under the roughest conditions and treatments. Who doesn’t love a squishy bean bag, anyway? It’s something that we all share a common adoration for, both young and old.
Bean bag chairs for kids is a great alternative that you can use to persuade your kids to stay off from your plush furnishings. Your toddler will certainly prefer their very own comfortable bean bags. You can even put some of their favorite cartoon character bean bag chairs in their playrooms and bedrooms. With the variety of sizes and shapes that you can choose from, you can certainly find one the right size and design for your kid. Children would often love to use their bean bags as trampolines or scamper around and plop and even prefer to sleep on it. It’s actually a great way of giving them something that they can really claim as their own piece of furniture in the house.
With bean bag chairs for kids, you won’t have to worry about the mess, sticky fingers, and even the dreaded drools. There are actually a lot of washable bean bag covers in the market today in response to the inevitable wear and tear of its materials specially around kids. If the fillings finally shrink due to endless battering from your kids, it’s certainly not a cause for you to worry about. You won’t even have to buy another bean bag chair for kids, but simply buy refills for it and it will be instantly feel and look good as new.
So if you want to save yourself from the anxiety of your kid ruining that new fixture you just bought from your favorite antique shop, buy them some fun bean bag chairs for kids. It’s the perfect solution that will both save you from misery and endless worry. Bean bags are so comfy that you just might decide to actually buy one for yourself too!
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Making your child eat and, eat healthy, at most times, seems like an unenviable chore. And nutrition for your child, whether a toddler, a tween or a teenager, is something you need to give much importance to.
Nutritionist Dr Sunita Dube says that parents can instill healthy eating habits in their kids, without turning meal times into a battle zone. “By encouraging healthy eating habits now, you can make a huge impact on your child’s lifelong relationship with food. Good nutrition begins in infancy. Healthy eating can stabilise children’s energy, sharpen their minds, and even out their moods. Unfortunately, kids are bombarded by messages that can counteract your efforts.
Between peer pressure and constant commercials for junk foods, getting children to eat well might seem more futile than fruitful.”
According to clinical nutritionist Dr Nupur Krishnan, a child needs a balanced and adequate diet to supply nutrients and energy needed for growth. Although children’s food consumption is highly variable from meal to meal, their daily energy consumption is relatively constant because they adjust it at meals.
– A child requires more calories per kilogram body weight than an adult because metabolism is highest during infancy, and steadily declines throughout life except for a small rise during adolescence.
– The physical activity of the child far exceeds that of an adult.
“A child requires more protein than an adult not only for tissue repair but also for growth. About 14 to 15 per cent of calories should be protein. The main sources of protein are milk and milk products (curd, paneer, lassi, shrikhand), meat, fish, eggs, nuts, cereals and pulses. The amount of food a child needs varies according to height, build, gender and activity levels. Most children usually eat the amount of food that’s right for them, however, it is up to parents to make sure their children have the right food available to choose from,” says Dr Krishnan.
Nutrition in teens
Dietician and nutritionist Vaishali Marathe says that adolescence is accompanied with accelerated physical, biochemical and emotional development. “In this growth spurt time, kids gain about 20 per cent of adult height and 50 per cent of adult weight. Since growth is so rapid, requirements for all nutrients increase. There are increased demands for energy, proteins, minerals and vitamins,” she says.
Most kids in the UK now have a mobile phone – even from the early ages of 7 or 8. The majority of British teenagers would see the removal of their mobile phone as the ultimate punishment a parent could bestow on them.
One of the major reasons why UK parents are prepared to provide their children with mobile phones is safety. We want our kids to be able to get in touch with us when they need help or have become involved in a real emergency situation.
As we all know – the major reasons kids want to have a mobile phone are to: look cool send endless texts
Even the most well behaved teenager is occasionally going to get into a scrape where they need mum and dad’s help.
As parents, we trust that our kids will have the common sense to use their mobile phones to contact us when they have found themselves in a jam. Unfortunately not all kids are blessed with the gift of common sense. As Oscar Wilde once famously said -Youth is wasted on the young.-
Even though your kids have their mobile phones in their possession there are some common reasons why they aren’t able to make that all important call to their parents:
1.Their mobile phone has run out of charge 2.They are in an area where they can’t get reception on their mobile 3.They have no change to use in a payphone
Many UK parents are making the decision to give their children an 0800 number to use when things go wrong as in the list above. The 0800 number is -pointed- to the parents’ home telephone. All your kids have to do is go to any landline including a payphone and they can make a call to their home by dialling the 0800 number given to them by mum and dad.
The cost of the call on the 0800 number is charged to the parents’ landline telephone bill but is a small price to pay for the peace of mind that no matter what happens their kids should still be able to get in touch with them easily.
This author of this article is Jemma Fox of The 0800 Number Company. Jemma is a leading authority on the subject of UK 0800 numbers. Jemma’s website can be found at where you can read up on other product lines including 0845 numbers
Teaching your young children about money is one of the most important things you can do as a parent. Don’t wait until they are teens to teach them responsible money management skills for a lifetime.
What lessons you impart depend on your kids’ maturity, but you can usually get started by the time your child turns seven. Don’t pass up this opportunity, because preteens still accept guidance from their parents; later on, peer pressure becomes a stronger influence.
Giving your kids an allowance is a great way to teach them how to set savings goals. Decide whether to tie it to chores or require kids to set aside a portion for savings or charity. (Charitable contributions can teach kids that, sometimes, feeling good about helping others trumps spending on themselves.)
According to a 2008 survey published in the San Diego Union Tribune, weekly allowances for children ranged from an average $2.84 for a child at age four to $9.58 at age 12.
Here are some guidelines to consider as you structure your children’s allowances:
Be reliable; pay allowances the same time each week. Sunday nights are perfect because your kids won’t have the weekend to spend it all quickly.
Use small denominations so they can easily set aside a portion for charity/saving, if those are your rules.
Never withhold an allowance as punishment. If your child receives a gift of money, it’s for them to decide how to save or spend it. Never “borrow” your kids’ money, and don’t criticize their decisions.
Daily Money Lessons
Look for everyday opportunities to teach money lessons. Teach comparison-shopping at the grocery store or, if they’re older, how to do so online.
Teach older children about investing by helping them buy a share of stock in a company whose products they buy, like the company that makes their iPod or their favorite snack.
Checking and Savings Accounts
Most kids are ready to open a bank account by age 9 or 10. They’ll learn that money doesn’t grow in ATM machines!
If Money’s Tight
If your family’s experiencing financial difficulties, be careful what you say. Don’t frighten children with extreme language.
If you’re a single parent, don’t overspend on your children because of guilt. Your children need quality time with you more than money. Don’t be pressured into buying the latest gotta-have it or impulse purchases. Encourage your kids to help the family stretch a dollar. Most kids will eagerly contribute if you value their input.
Striving to be a good parent in a difficult world full of trials and temptations is a daunting task. What qualities should a good parent possess is a question well worth the asking. Read this article to get some valuable input on how to be a better parent in trying times. Maybe you are a single parent struggling to raise a teenager on your own or you may be an overworked parent trying to raise tiny children. The qualities you will need to possess remain the same with few adjustments as the years roll by.
Read on to find out what mothers the world over consider as the answer to the question, “what qualities should a good parent possess.”
Patience with a capital “P” heads the list. You are going to have to call upon hitherto untapped resources to find the patience to deal with day to day circumstances that arise when raising children.
Let your children know how much you love them and never be backward to demonstrate the love you have for them. This will teach them to express their feelings and emotions and help them grow into caring individuals.
Pay attention to what your children are trying to tell you. Listen without judging and try to understand the reasons behind their actions. Talk to them without getting angry and frustrated and they will talk back to you. Your children need to feel confident in coming to you with their problems; they need a listening ear and someone to guide them when they go off track. If you rant and rave you will only succeed in pushing them away from you and you can bet they are not going to come to you when in a crisis.
Make time for your children, set aside family time that is totally devoted to them. Take the time to get creative when planning family activities and make sure that you include their personal favorite activities as well. Every one is always busy and has plenty to do but that will not work as an excuse. Your children need and deserve your attention – give it to them!
Treating your children with respect means they will in turn respect you, your authority and your decisions. While they may not always agree with your decisions, especially when it restricts television or telephone talk time, they will respect what you say. This is the best way to encourage obedience.
Learning to laugh and stay cool in situations where you would rather explode is an excellent quality to have. This provides a calm and stable environment for the children.
Keep personal disagreements with your spouse separate from the children and never interfere when one parent is doing the correcting. Time enough to discuss it with your partner behind closed doors if you do not agree with something.
When you consider what qualities should a good parent possess, the list is seemingly endless. Hopefully this article will help you get started.
It can be a win-win situation for those families that have planned it out and whose family dynamic lends itself to cohabitating, but it can be a shocking surprise for those who don’t think it through.
Here are some key things to consider before calling the realtor:
How important is privacy? Does your home lend itself to having each person having their own space, e.g. are there separate entrance ways? Bathrooms? Sitting areas? Are you all right with the extended family, like brothers and sisters, knowing what is going on in your home? Where you controlled the information you put out there before, when Mom or Dad is there, they may not be as judicious about sharing.
How are you going to handle the finances? Do you expect your parent to assist with rent or utilities? If there are modifications that have to be made to your home, will that come out of the sale or rental of their house? Many families get into the arrangement thinking that their current environment will do, until they realize that changes have to be made to make it livable for the longer term.
Have you discussed how much you want to interact? There’s a big difference between having someone take part in your life when asked, versus always being there. What if friends come over for dinner? Do you expect Mom and Dad to participate, or do you want them to eat early and retire to their living room? Talking about those things beforehand can reduce a tremendous amount of awkwardness later on.
What is the plan when their health starts to decline? No one likes to think about it, especially if Mom or Dad is currently in good health. But unfortunately it doesn’t stay like that forever, and it’s much easier to discuss the next steps when they are healthy. Families need to think about whether they will continue to live at home with home health care, or move to a place that would provide that level of care, like an assisted living facility.
Having your parents move in with you can be an incredibly rewarding experience especially when you have children that can spend time with their grandparents. But it’s a big commitment and it doesn’t work for everyone. You want to discuss all this up front, and be honest with yourself. You don’t want to remember after everyone is moved and settled in, why you went to college three thousand miles away from your parents.
The most effective way to get someone to do something, especially children, it to model the desired behavior. Nobody likes to be lectured to or be constantly told what to do. Lecturing will quickly send children in the opposite direction.
Model healthy interactions with your spouse and other adults. Always speak lovingly and respectfully.
Save shouting for safety only.
To teach your children manners say it for them rather than asking them to use the “Magic Word”. As you serve say, “Thank you Mama!” When your child demands service say, “May I have some juice please Papa?”
Or, try using non-verbal signals. Decide with your children what the hand signal will be when they have asked for service inappropriately. Use the hand signal, such as touching your lips with your index finger, every time they demand service.
Maria Montessori has shown us that modeling appropriate behavior is particularly critical during a child’s first six year of life, because children enter the Absorbent Mind developmental phase. A child’s mind acts like a sponge, integrating everything accurately, nonjudmentally, uncritically and effortlessly.
During the approximate ages of 2 1/5 to five years, children enter the Sensitive Period for Social Development phase. A child explores and absorbs group and social behavior. Due to this sensitivity, a child needs to have modeled acceptable social behavior at home and in a positive school setting.
The late guru, Rudolph Dreikurs, teaches us to teach and model mutual respect. Be kind and firm at the same time. Kind to show respect for your child, firm to show respect for yourself and the needs of the situation. This is difficult!
Ask, Tell, Respond, Act:
Ask first: “Please put your activity away.” Back off and wait. If needed:
Tell once: “This goes right here.” Hand her the toy and pat the shelf.
Respond: “OK Mama, I’m putting it away!.” (Say if for her.) If needed:
Act: “Let’s do it together!” Do it with joy! (Even if she doesn’t help.)
Teach and model that mistakes are great opportunities to learn:
Clean up your messes:
1. Own your part: “Wow, I just made a mistake!”
2. Apologize: “I apologize for_____. (Be specific)”
3. Commit: “The next time I will do _____ instead.”
4. Amends: “To make it up to you I will do _____ for/with you.”
When you want to make your child do something you are in a power struggle. Say “Oops, I’m trying to get my way, I’m going to go do something to help myself feel better.”
Children express what we repress. When your child acts up, look inside yourself first. Clean up your act, resolve your feelings, mend fences.
This New York Times article reveals how animals use their relationship with children to improve their social standing. This isn’t very different from humans where we too derive pleasure from our children. We feel happy seeing them play. We put big burden our expectations on their small shoulders and really, like the male Barbary macaques mentioned in the article, we -strengthen our social clout- through our children. Coincidently, I was reminded that it is father’s day today. After playing with my son with some time, I was tempted to dust off my notes on astrology on how to judge children through horoscopes. Any adept astrologer can easily tell the following about your child ESSENTIAL ASPECTS OF CHILD’S CHARACTER EMOTIONAL PANORAMAS IN THE CHILD RELATIONSHIP WITH THE MOTHER CHILD’S PERSONALITY FRIENDLY RELATIONSHIPS AND SOCIAL ATTITUDES THE POWER OF HIS MIND EDUCATIONAL ACTIVITIES AND BUILDING VALUE A relationship between a parent and child is a complex one. Responsibility and expectation does not always balance each other out. Both the parties grow together and as everyone gets older, maintaining the relationship is not necessarily a piece of cake. To judge such a relationship, we need to look at 5th house in parent’s chart and 9th house in the child’s chart. Due to Bhavat Bhavam, both 5th and 9th become important as 9th is 5th from 5th and 5th is 9th from 9th. In general, we should look at influences on 5th house and its lord to determine how the relationship and association would be in future. Happiness through children is indicated if there is a positive influence through Moon, Venus and Jupiter. Similarly, unhappiness would be caused by Saturn and Rahu. Afflicted Mercury causes worries, Mars causes danger and Rahu can be the cause of scandals. Adverse navamsha and saptamsha positions of well placed planets in rashi chart cause misunderstanding. Placement of 5th lord in various houses is important. A good yoga/combination between 1st and 5th house lords predicts a good relationship. A good combination between 5th and 7th or 9th house lord predicts that the parent would benefit from foreign travels of the child. If there are negative influences, the relationship would be estranged by distance. Similarly, if the 2nd house is involved and there are a lot of negative influences, a parent might not be able to support the child financially. The rules explained above are from the perspective of a parent, but can be turned around and looked from the perspective of the child as well. Take an example of 10th house – an unfavourable combination between 5th and 10th house would mean that a person would neglect his/her children for career. A similar combination involving 9th and 10th house would mean that a child will not get enough support from parent because of the parent’s career aspirations